The Real Secret to Manifesting Reunions with Old Lovers (or anyone else)

Photo (not me) by sassysugarpants

 

What an amazing discovery!  It’s not focusing on what we don’t want or focusing on the wrong things that hinders the manifesting process—though both are important in the Law of Attraction, prayer, magick, or however you apply Universal Law to your life.  What keeps you from manifesting what you really want is…resistance.

 

Yes, of course, I’ll explain.  And I’ll explain it in the context of the #1 reason people search my blogs and websites for information on manifesting.  No, not how to get rich quickly and attract an abundance of cash and material treasures.  No, the main interest my readers have in the Universal Law of Attraction is “How do I attract a particular person?”  Not “How do I attract a mate?” because finding a mate—just any old mate—is not very difficult.  Not even “How do I attract a new person in my life?” because that’s not hard either.  The one that seems to elude most people is how “attract back” an old lover.  This one is the hardest of all types of manifesting because, in my opinion, the heart is involved and that makes the resistance stronger than any other kind of desire to attract something.

 

There are many types of resistance when it comes to manifesting.  The more external the resistance, the easier to overcome.  The resistance may be societal, but two people in love will find their way around it, usually.  Maybe it’s family or friends.  That’s harder.  Their influence is more personal.  Sometimes friends or family will intentionally put up blocks to keep two people apart, or if not overtly, they spout constant negativity or doubt that causes you to question the relationship, so that resistance is created where there was none before.  But the hardest type of resistance and the most difficult to get beyond comes from within.

 

First, do I believe you can attract someone back into your life?  As I’ve said before, absolutely.  In fact, I think the structure for such an attraction is stronger if it’s someone from your past you’re “attracting back” rather than someone you don’t know or someone new that you might have your eye on.  As I’ve discovered through both personal experience as well as the interviews I’ve conducted over the past six months, that special someone from the past already has a connection with you.  If it was truly a connection, that energy is still there and the unseen circuitry of it is still there—just waiting for the juice to hit it again, usually through proximity or some event that brigs you close enough to fire up the old circuits.

 

Looking back, I see how often I’ve attracted people back into my life, all the way back to my first boyfriend.  Because that’s so far in the past and therefore less personal than more recent situations, that’s the example I’ll use to explain what I’ve found.  As I’ve said before, the results are different, often unexpected.  Sometimes the relationship is better, sometimes worse, but always different in some way.  It will never again be the same relationship it was and it cannot be because you are both different  people now, having grown (hopefully) and moved along on your journey separately.  I attracted back (unintentionally) my first serious boyfriend, about 6  years after we broke up.  For someone I’d thought, at 17, I’d die without,  he just wasn’t as impressive when I was older and stronger and, by then, dating someone new.  It was odd to me that we’d both moved away, started new lives, and then ended up temporarily living in the same town again, sharing a car pool to graduate classes an hour away 3 or 4 times a week.  I had not planned to see him again, ever, let alone be trapped in a car with him on a regular basis.  But the old connection was there, still.  We became friends again (truly), and though he wanted more and the option was definitely there, I made the easy choice not to entertain a second romance with him.  Our friendship—still platonic and with me married to someone else–ended when he finally married and his new wife didn’t want him within 3000 miles of me.  If she was worried about not trusting me, she needn’t have been.  But looking back, I can see that he returned to my life when there was no longer any resistance on my part.

 

When you really want someone back (and this also applies to all other things you might want to attract into your life, whether it’s a job, a home, a healthy body, etc.), you wonder how  it is that you could possibly be “resistant” to allowing that person to  come back.  No place is there MORE resistance than with the heart.  This is the “forgiveness” connection I’ve tried to make for years and never before pieced it together.

 

With my first boyfriend, I initially wanted him back but there was too much resistance.  I was angry, hurt, humiliated.  What 17-year-old girl wouldn’t be?  He broke up with me in the middle of my high school prom, in a very public way,  with me in an expensive dress and expensive shoes I’d justified because I’d planned on attending his prom as well, with everyone in our small town aware that he’d dumped me because he favored alcohol over me.  He left town not long after, to pursue his dreams,  and I was left still trying to clean up the damage and seeing all the places every day that he and I had gone together.  There was a lot of hurt and anger that festered as I went into my senior year of high school and later off to college.  For the most part, I forgot about him over time and moved on with a new phase of my life, but I was still angry at him for a long time. 

 

I now have a daughter who is older than I was then, but looking back, I can see how the lesson is applied.  It doesn’t matter if you’re 17 or 37 or 97.  Even if I had been focusing on trying to attract him back when I was 21,  there was too much resistance.  To explain “resistance,” I’ll give a few examples of what was going on in my conscious and subconscious mind at that time:

 

                Instead of flying freely through air and enjoying the breeze in my hair [which is how I feel the sensation of joy], knowing that you will return to me,

-          I am hurt/angry that you treated me like dirt.

-          I am hurt/angry that you threw away our relationship because you wanted to get drunk all the time.

-          I am angry that you told lies about me to your friends and family to make yourself look good and started rumors at school rather than tell them what really happened.

-          I am angry that you were able to leave town so easily and not have to deal with the damage you caused.

-          [SNIP--This list can –and did—go on forever]

-          I will never forgive you for humiliating me in front of all my friends and snatching your ring off my bloody knuckle.

Yes, I was 17 and broken-hearted but that last one is by far the most important.  I couldn’t forgive what he’d done.  That lack of forgiveness is a good sign of “resistance.”  Even in the days when I wanted him back (and no,  I haven’t wanted him back in decades, plural), the resistance—the obstacle or blockage—to getting what I wanted was that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I thought of him.  I wanted him back but I didn’t feel good about him and I didn’t feel good about myself in regard to him.  I could not put aside what had happened that caused us to separate.  There was an emotional blockage in our energetic connection.

 

By the time we reconnected, I had a college degree, a new boyfriend, a new job—and I really didn’t care anymore about what he did or whether he was in my life.  I still remembered, yes.  I hadn’t done anything to actively forgive his actions, but he’d taken some hard lumps that made me feel somewhat vindicated, including flunking out of college, being repeatedly rejected by every girl he was interested in, settling for a career far below  his dreams.  And so I saw what life had dealt him and I let go a little bit.  The old resistance—that ugly feeling—that rose up every time I remembered his face just sort of…faded. 

 

The initial reconnection was awkward but looking back, it still amazes me that I had the opportunity to re-open the door to a romance with him, very likely a future with him,  if I’d wanted.  In his case, I chose closure instead and put my old wounds to rest.  But the option was definitely there. 

 

I’ve seen the same with others in my past, too.  Some I’ve renewed romances with and some I haven’t.  But the secret to manifesting a reunion is being able to take a really, really hard look within at anything that I still find hurtful, anything I still hold onto, any doubts that still create walls, and tear them all down.  At that point, a point where many people feel that “it no longer matters” or “it isn’t important anymore,” that’s where it manifests.  Not because the reunion or the person isn’t important to you anymore but because they’re important enough to you that you can release the blockages that keep you apart, whether it’s anger, hurt, feelings of insecurity, etc, that you still hold onto.  And so this is the connection to forgiveness.  When you can let go of the mistakes made that caused the separation, then the reunion can manifest, not just through forgiving the other person–for leaving, for having different dreams, for moving on without you,  for having different values, for being imperfect–but also in forgiving yourself.

 

If this post was helpful, you might like:

http://thespiritualeclectic.wordpress.com/2008/01/23/can-you-attract-old-lovers-back-into-your-life/http://thespiritualeclectic.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/attracting-a-relationship-with-a-specific-person/

FOR MORE INFORMATION TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND UNIVERSAL LAW, WE RECOMMEND 

Fire Burning in Water by Lauren Hartford. 

Check the hyperlink for the best price direct from the publisher.