Is There a Witch Next Door?

 

 

Photo by Sashala

Quite possibly.

And the truth is, you may never know. Because followers of Nature Religions are still persecuted–yes, even in places that tout freedom of religion–many cannot afford to come out of the “broom closet.”

They’re not hiding who they are on the inside or ashamed of their religion. Not at all. Yet if they are open with their spirituality, they are often met with misunderstanding, prejudice, hostility, and even death threats.

Pagan employees may face discrimination that will cost them promotions, raises, or even their jobs.

Pagan students are harangued to the point of dropping out of school or they’re threatened with expulsion for wearing jewelry representing their religion.

Pagan parents risk custody of their children to bitter ex-spouses, uninformed judges, and fearful grandparents.

Adult pagans are frequently ostracized by their Christian parents and family members as well as neighbors and long-time friends.

Pagan authors learn to deal with threats and hateful book reviews and may be blacklisted at non-pagan publishing houses.

Pagans everywhere read sharp-tongued editorials and biased news articles that make them feel ill at ease outside their homes.

How seriously will some zealots take the re-written “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live”? Freedom of religion is not so free as those of mainstream religions might think.

Often these cruelties come from well-meaning people of other religions who have never dared to read outside their own faith to see what anyone else believes. They genuinely think that anyone with a different experience with Deity is wrong or disillusioned–what arrogance to think that their personal beliefs trump someone else’s relationship with Deity!

Then of course there are those who have watched too much bad TV and don’t even realize that Witchcraft isn’t about hokey Hollywood special effects.

For the best idea of the type of discrimination pagans face and the very real threat to everything they hold dear, we recommend the suspense thriller, Flying By Night.

 

So who are the witches next door?

They’re students in junior high school with straight A’s, and they’re college professors with Ph.D’s and a string of awards. Many are school teachers, like Mirabella in Maggie Shayne’s short novel, Witch Moon Rising. Teaching seems to be a natural profession for followers of Earth Religions.

They’re protectors and defenders, another occupation frequently found in pagan circles. They’re detectives and cops, like Robyn in Lorna Tedder’s suspense thriller, Flying By Night . They’re security specialists, private investigators, auditors, and soldiers. Sometimes they’re lawyers, like Grant in  Flying By Night  or Lydia in Access  and its prequel, Witch Moon Waning.

As expected, many followers of the pagan path follow a more creative career path into the arts.

Healing is another popular profession for pagans. Doctors, nurses, Reiki masters, and–like Kestrel in Flying By Night  –hypnotherapists who help victims of car accidents recall the preceding events or aid smokers in putting down their cigarettes.

Even though some would prefer to be full-time priests and priestesses, working to heal and to teach, they’re hard-core scientists, stockbrokers, and Government bureaucrats. They’re engineers on cutting-edge technology programs. They’re program managers of multi-billion dollar projects and, like Lorelei Madison Steele in Access, they’re negotiators for the Department of Defense.

And then there are less artsy, sometimes less prestigious or less wealthy professions for pagans. Library aides, piano teachers, bookstore employees, landscapers and gardeners, printing press operators, gas station attendants, waitresses, taxi drivers, mechanics, and retail sales assistants, among others. Meg, in Waiting on the Thunder, sold pharmaceutical supplies before moving back home to take care of her uncle’s farm.

Still other pagans are likely to branch out on their own, rather than deal with existence as a rank-and-file employees of a major corporation. Teddi Jo, in Thunderstorms and Convertibles, a planned novel for the Coven of the Jeweled Dragon series, once sold books and greeting cards at a major bookstore before taking up the entrepreneurial reins in her hometown and opening a tiny cafe featuring her artwork.

And let’s not forget the pagan mom (or dad) next door! She’s probably a little bit of all the professions mentioned above. More and more often, she’s like author Kristin Madden of the non-fiction guides, Pagan Homeschooling   and Pagan Parenting.

So is there a witch next door? You never know. As pagans like to say, “We are everywhere.”

 

A Witch by Any Other Name

 

 

 

 

Photo by joana joana

 

A witch by any other name…would smell as sweet?

On this site, you’ll often see us use certain terms interchangeably –Witch, Wiccan, and Pagan, for example–based on staff members’ personal belief systems,

but in reality, these terms aren’t always synonymous.

 

Yes, a Wiccan may call herself both a Witch and a Pagan.

Or not.

 

Pagan is a much bigger umbrella and encompasses belief systems other than Wicca. Shamans, Druids, Wiccans, Witches, and more–all are usually considered Pagan, though occasionally someone takes issue with that term, too, thinking that pagan means they don’t believe in any God.  Pagans are not atheists (no offense to our atheist friends).

Many Witches are not Wiccan and will adamantly tell you so. Some groups of Witches do not believe in Goddess worship, and others worship only a Goddess. Some follow karmic law instead of a Wiccan Rede. Some Witches believe in using magick in service to Deity while others believe in harnessing the power of Deity through ritual to meet their own destinies.

Some Wiccans don’t like the term Witch because of age-old connotations and other reasons. Others, like Finn in Flying By Night, don’t want to categorize themselves at all:

He’d grown up in a Baptist church with five hundred people in the congregation every Sunday. Since converting to Wicca, he’d found religion to be an intensely personal matter. So personal, in fact, that he refused to answer any paperwork that asked his religious preference. He could easily write in Wicca or Pagan or Neo-pagan or Celtic or Earth Religion or something similar and all would be accurate for his spirituality, and yet, categorizing his relationship with Deity seemed…small and offensive.

Wait a minute! Isn’t this a bit confusing for someone not familiar with the Pagan community? Do all these factions fight or get along? Why all the different names and terminology?

1. Yes.
2. Both. Hence, you may have heard the term Witch wars.  (see Celebrating the Tower Card)
3. It would take a whole book to answer that one.

But okay, let’s put it in a different light. Let’s say you grew up in the First Baptist Church–as many current Pagans, including the author above, did–except you’re still a member of the First Baptist Church and adhere to that particular belief system. The Baptists fall under the Protestant and Christian umbrellas.

Someone asks you what religion you are and you answer, “Christian.” Or you might answer “Baptist,” especially if you live in a small town where you assume everyone else is a Christian and you’re talking to a known Methodist, who is also a Christian but believes in christening instead of baptizing, much to your chagrin as a Baptist.

You’ve been asked to attend a prayer service over at the Holiness Baptist Church, but you don’t feel comfortable there because they speak in tongues and sing without piano accompaniment–and you can’t carry a tune in a bucket.

 

You and a female friend have also been invited to attend a small Baptist church down the street, but they don’t allow women to wear short sleeve dresses or show their ankles–even though it’s 98 degrees outside and rising.

You could attend services at the Freewill Baptist Church across town, but gee, they believe in holding hands while they pray and you never know if a stranger washed his hands before leaving the bathroom.

[We're not making this up or trying to be mean.  Our webgoddess is still a member of a Southern Baptist church and has heard these worries many times.]

You see, each group has its own quirks, whether they call themselves by their specific church name, by the term Baptist, or more broadly identify themselves as Christians or Protestants. They may squabble occasionally over whose church has the better charity project, but in times of need, they usually come together.

The same with Pagans. The same with most religions where the members are active participants in their spirituality.

And whether it’s called Paganism or Witchcraft or Wicca, it’s no more a cult than that little band of Baptists who meet every Wednesday morning before work for a quick prayer service and a bagel.
 
We recommend Flying By Night for a look at different types of Pagans, including Witches, Druids, Eclectic Wiccans, Wiccan covens, followers of the Left-Hand Path, and Neo-pagans.

 

[Oh, and one more thing:  a male Witch is called a Witch.  A warlock is an "oath breaker" and you'll likely insult a male Witch if you forget.]

 *****

If you liked this post, try these:

Magick/Ritual
A Small Ritual:  Under a Blood Red Moon
The Spiritual Ad Lib
Threshold Days:  Springing into a Bright Future with the Vernal Equinox

Pagan Community
HOTMaybe this Opportunity Isn’t Meant for You
Me vs The Almighty:  Hold to Your Vision!

Paganism/Wicca/Witchcraft
Are You a White Witch?
Christian Witches:  Caught in the Middle?
Is There a Witch Next Door
Why Pagans/Spiritual People Should Be Concerned about Amazon.com’s Monopoly

 

Christian Witches: Caught in the Middle?

 

 

Is there such a thing as a Christian witch?
 
The answer for most Christians is an unyielding “No!”
 
The answer for most pagans is equally firm. “No!”
 
But for a select group of devoutly spiritual people, they most definitely do define themselves as Christian Witches or, if they have a problem with the W-word, as New Age Christians. Christianity and Earth-based spirituality are not mutually exclusive to them.
 
Often these Christian Witches are former Catholics who can readily tie the Goddess trinity of Maiden, Mother, and Crone to Virgin Mary, Mother Mary, and Saint Mary. It’s not unusual for Christian Witches to attend Catholic or Protestant churches with their families, friends, and neighbors and practice their magick alone or at least discreetly.
 
They honor Jesus as a prophet, teacher, and ascended Master, at the very least. Some connect the resurrected Jesus with the Green Man mythos or the sacrifice of the God at Lammas. Some believe firmly in the Goddess, whether they call Her Mary or Mother or even the Holy Spirit.
 
They burn candles readily, usually in petition for protection or healing. They have a fondness for gem stones and crystals, essential oils and herbs, and divination techniques.
 
They belong to both worlds and yet fit easily in neither.

 

To our readers:  Because the above article has been one of the  most popular over the past five years and because you’ve asked so many questions, I will pass on the following:  Spilled Candy Books’ Lauren Shelley is current working on a novel, The Christian Witch, for the Coven of the Jeweled Dragon series.  The publication date has not yet been scheduled.

Talking to Animals

 

Photo by Noel Zia Lee

Sometimes we choose special animals–including birds and insects–and sometimes they choose us.

“But Mommy,” my older daughter protested, “animals can’t talk!”

 

Okay, so my response to her question about animal totems had failed and failed miserably. As I explained how animals have different spiritual meanings and how what they represent can “speak” to us, she began to understand.

“What animal speaks to me, Mommy? Do I pick one or does one pick me?”

“Both,” I told her. At her age she liked fuzzy bunnies and terrarium turtles, so I knew we’d have to go deeper for her to connect with an animal with substantial meaning.

That evening, we found a quiet spot where she could lie down while I led her on a search for her animal. I had her close her eyes and relax her whole body–not an easy task for an elementary school student. I began by talking about a walk amidst Nature and finding a cave.

“This cave doesn’t frighten you,” I told her. I saw her eyes moving, looking, behind closed eyelids. “It’s a safe place with torches on the walls for light. Lots of light.”

I was careful to make the cave as not-scary as possible because, unlike her sister, she was afraid of the dark and of being alone. I continued to describe the cave with all its sculpted formations, cathedral ceilings, underground lakes, and hundreds of rooms. Slowly, I walked her through room after room until she came to the cave’s exit.

“As you step out of the cave,” I said, “you’ll notice that you are in a large forest so thick with trees that sunlight can only trickle down to the thick carpet of brown leaves.” I described the trees and plants and the way the sky looked through the canopy of green leaves above.

“In the woods, you feel something watching you. A good something. It’s an animal of some sort, and you feel very good about it being there. It won’t hurt you. It’s your friend, your protector. Can you feel it?”

Eyes still closed, she nodded. Nothing on her face showed fear, so I continued. I described the woods as she walked along a narrow path toward a bright light. All the while, the “something” was with her, keeping her safe, and she knew in her heart what it was though she was not yet to say.

“Now you’ve come to the end of the path through the wood. Something is still following you, still watching over you. You step out of the woods and into a beautiful field of sunlight and wildflowers.” Then I described the feel of the grass under her bare feet, the colors of the wildflowers, the warmth of sunshine on her face.

“What was following you in the woods, keeping you safe, has followed you into the field. Turn now, very slowly, and greet what has been watching over you. When you’re done, open your eyes.”

It took her a few seconds. Then she smiled and blinked up at me.

“What did you see?” I asked.

 

“A deer! In the woods where it was kinda dark, it was a stag deer with antlers. It was really fierce and wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. But in the sunshine, it turned into a fawn deer and it just wanted to play. It was all new and gentle. What does it mean?”

 

I told her of several meanings of the deer and we discussed which interpretation felt right to her. Yes, the deer can be a symbol of new adventure, but in this case, it almost seemed to have two sides to it: the fierce protectiveness and the gentle playfulness. We discussed what was happening in her life and how the deer’s meaning applied to her.

 

She was happy.

Then she seemed troubled.

 

“Mommy, how will I know if a deer is really my animal? What if I just imagined it?”

“Confirmation,” I said with a laugh. “If the deer really is your animal, you’ll see a deer within the next three days.”

Then I kissed her goodnight. I worried a little about whether I should have told her that. Spotting a deer on the outskirts of our town isn’t unheard of, but it is rare. What were the chances of a deer showing up in the next three days?

The very next day, she woke expecting to see a deer at her bedroom window. I warned her that it might be a picture of a deer or a stuffed animal even, rather than the real thing. We packed quickly and headed to my parents’ farm to see my ailing dad.

 

The drive is only a few hours and most of it is Interstate and small towns. Miraculously, the girls didn’t nap on the trip and were staring straight ahead when they spotted not one, but four, deer crossing the highway in front of us. We stopped the car on the highway to watch those beautiful, sleek creatures prance across in front of us. Not another car was on that road. The quartet walked slowly into the roadside grasses, looked over their shoulders at us, and dashed into a forest of pines.

 

I glanced back at my older daughter, who by now was absolutely giddy. We exchanged knowing looks. She’d found her totem, or at least, the one she needs for now.

 

©, Excerpt from The Gifts for the Goddess series  by Lorna Tedder, Shannon Bailey, and Aislinn Bailey, www.spilledcandy.com; 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Even a High Priestess Needs to Do Housework

 

Photo by Dhammza

 

 

 

“How can I ever live a mundane life?”

 

Two years ago, I sat at Melissa’s kitchen table and sipped the hot chai tea her husband had made for me while our kids played Neopets computer games upstairs. She’s been called to walk a spiritual path yet didn’t know how to take the first step.

 

“A Higher Power wants me to focus on healing and social work,” she told me. “If I’m concentrating on creating a healing center and exploring my spirituality, how will I ever live a normal life? How will I ever be able to do mundane things like balance a checkbook or sweep the floor? I should be doing only the important spiritual things!”I understood what she meant. Spiritual growth, healing, service to humanity–all became so important to her that it was all she spoke of. She was considering studying for the clergy.

I posed the question to several spiritual leaders, Wiccan Priestesses, and interdenominational ministers, and got the same answer: if you lead a truly spiritual life and walk the sacred path, then everything you do in your mundane life will have spiritual overtones. Nothing will ever be truly mundane because the individual will have integrated the spiritual and the mundane into one life.

And while I agree with that, it’s only now that I’m understanding the importance of the mundane in keeping a spiritual person grounded in this physical world.

It’s a balance of the chakras, the body’s seven energy centers. The upper chakras focus on spirituality, vision, ideas, and communication. The lower ones represent our survival, sexuality, instincts, physicality. The middle one is the heart–our love, our compassion, our emotions.

Writers so often live in their heads, in a way that non-writers don’t understand. Ask other writers about the multiple universes of characters and plotlines that live in the backs of their minds and those writers will nod and get that gleam in the eye. The same with musicians. I know plenty of composers and musicians who have songs playing in their minds all the time. It never really stops. It’s the way they take things in and it’s the medium to communicate how they see the world just as I do with writing. Everything becomes a potential idea for a book. Just as photographers see everything as though through a camera lens.

Wouldn’t that make a great shot? they think. Wouldn’t that make a great story? Wouldn’t that twist of magic be a perfect sequence of musical notes?

The same with spiritual people. They can become so in tune with God that they forget all about the basics of survival and honoring their emotions. They can become selfless to the point of burning out because they live in that mindset of service to Deity and to others. They must do it all and do it all themselves.

The same with highly intelligent people, especially at the genius level. I’ve worked with enough rocket scientists to discover some disturbing levels of brain activity. The image of the 1970’s nerd isn’t that far-fetched. The super-smart guy with broken glasses and greasy hair? Yeah, I’ve known several. It wasn’t that they didn’t understand good hygiene. It just wasn’t that important.

Let’s see…solve the design of a solar-wind-powered spacecraft or wash hair tonight….

After talking to several clergymen about a particular spiritual experience this weekend, they had some great advice for me: Go grocery shopping! Go dig in your garden! Go have sex! All the “mundane,” lower chakra activities to ground myself so I wouldn’t be living too much in my ideas and vision.

So that’s the secret. Grounding. The balance of magical and mundane. When I’ve done my best writing, I’ve been out for a walk in the woods or on the beach or in the grass. I’ve had a tape recorder in my hand, dictating my story like it’s being channeled from the Gods, but with my feet firmly on the ground.

I’ve seen spiritual people relish housework, particularly cleaning, because it kept them closer to the little tasks that are necessary to make life happen every day and keep its course smoothly running. Each mundane act became sacred because it was part of the equation.

I’ve seen brilliant physicists ground themselves with regular exercise, tattoos, and body piercings in more places than I wanted to imagine (their spouses told me, okay?). They kept a strong physical presence to offset their ten-ideas-per-second lifestyle.

But it’s too hot for gardening. And as for romance, I’m just going to let it come find me. Guess I’ll go grocery shopping and see if I can ground myself with a handful of Mint Milano cookies.

 

 

 

© 2006, Excerpt from The Third Degree Diaries, by Lorna Tedder, www.spilledcandy.com;  The books in this series may be read in any order or, to see the author’s spiritual growth and use it for your on roadmap, start with the first book in the series.

 

Why Pagans/Spiritual People Should Be Concerned about Amazon.com’s Monopoly (Part 3)

 

 

 

Photo by Mark Strozier

Part 1 (Where we stand)  Part 2  (What Amazon is doing)   Part 3 (Why Amazon is doing this and the effect on YOU)   Part 4  (The future of books)  

 

(This will be a multi-post article so that I can adequately explain why Amazon.com’s latest manuevers could keep pagan/spiritual readers from finding the reading material they’ve come to love and put small spiritual publishers out of business.) 

 

So why is Amazon doing this?  What do they hope to achieve?  

 

Their initial rationale was that forcing publishers to use Amazon’s printer will improve customer service because the books would then be immediately available for shipping, with no lengthy waits while your book is being printed or acquired from the pubisher.  Sorry, but I’ve got to call bullshit on that one.  If we have a run on books and are completely zeroed out of inventory, we can have new books printed within 48 hours, with very rare exceptions.  Our books printed by Lightning Source have always been available as “in stock” at Amazon or –in rare cases–shipping within 2 days.   

 

Here’s a little-known fact:  our books ordered from Amazon don’t even see the inside of an Amazon warehouse.  This is true for publishers who use LightningSource as a printer, as we do.  Lightning Source is partnered up with our wholesaler, Ingram, and when you order our books from Amazon, the warehouse run by Ingram packages the books in a box that says Amazon.com on it and ships it directly to you.   

 

Meanwhile, my colleagues have reported trying to order books printed by Booksurge and have either received books that are inferior in quality (pages falling out, grossly skewed covers, ink globs) or they’ve been told the print-on-demand book won’t be available for several weeks. 

 

The publishing industry has been in a state of flux for the past decade but this is going to bring a lot of it to a head.  Here’s what’s at Amazon has to gain by bullying publishers and authors: 

 

(Stay awake for this part!) 

 

If you’ve never heard of Long-Tail Ecomonics and the idea of College Econ 101 still makes you break out in yawns, do yourself a favor and check out something new at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Long_Tail.  To put it in layman’s terms (because I really despise economics courses),  The Long Tail refers to very limited sales of a bazillion unique items, whether it’s books, dvds, songs, beer, or tiny bank loans.  There’s literally a product (in this case, book) for everyone of every taste.  It’s a great time to be an individual in this world!   

 

The Long Tail is a big deal NOW because technology NOW allows this huge smorgasbord of choices so that if you want to find a book on, oh, how to open and run your own New Age/pagan/metaphysical shop, there’s one out there for you.   We know because we published it.  Very tiny market but it has crucial advice for the people who are looking for that particular type of info.  We’re publishing another book called How to Set Up an Inter-Dimensional Portal.   It will likely not sell a million copies and be on the NY Times Bestseller list.  But for people who are interested in wormhole magick, it’s going to be just the ticket!   

 

My point is, whatever your reading tastes are or whatever information you’re seeking, there’s probably a book out there just for you.  Technology allows small presses to publish it and technology allows you to find it.  Because small presses now have more options than ever before, they’re able to present more choices, which benefits you, the reader—even if they sell only a handful of copies to the handful of people who share your very specific taste in books.  A major publishing house will rarely consider investing their resources in a book that with a limited audience.  They want tons of sales and the books they acquire need to be able to bring in tons of sales.  Major publishing houses would turn up their noses at books on building an inter-dimensional portal or starting an online store that sells Goddess jewelry.  The market for such books simply isn’t big enough to draw their interest, which is where small presses step in to fill the void for the spiritually eclectic reader. 

 

Because The Long Tail represents more choices for readers and their individual needs, we like it.  So does Amazon…in fact, they’d like to own The Long Tail. 

 

Imagine this:  Amazon already benefits enormously from The Long Tail, profiting from all the tiny per-book sales of obscure books but in a bazillion obscure book titles.  If they could also profit from the printing of these books, the set-up fees for printing these books, listing fees for these books, audio and ebook formats of these books, and sales of used editions of these books, then they will OWN The Long Tail of books.  There’ll be little left for publishers to do other than edit the books (some do edit, some don’t—and Booksurge does not edit).  Amazon will set the prices for the readers and either the discounts for the publisher or the royalties for the author.   Amazon will hold the monopoly on books.  And monopolies mean big dollars for the monopoly and far fewer choices for the consumer.   

 

For example, my colleagues have reported trying to order books printed by Booksurge and have either received books that are inferior in quality (pages falling out, grossly skewed covers, ink globs) or they’ve been told the print-on-demand book won’t be available for several weeks.   

 

Part of me cannot believe the audacity of Amazon to try to get their arms around The Long Tail and subdue it.  It’s not that they want to get rid of it—they make their money on niche-selling books—but they want to milk it for every penny.  It’s all the more important for them to control The Long Tail NOW because they can look into the future as I can and see what technology is going to make available to the average book buyer VERY SOON…but more of that in the next post. 

 

Next post… the future of books.

 

 

Tarot: Card for Love and Innocence

Photo by MShades

Twice in the past month, I’ve drawn the Two of Cups. It’s one of the most beautiful cards in my Arthurian Tarot deck. A man and woman stand together aboard a dragon-faced ship, locked in a deep embrace, her head against his chest, his hand curling around her head. They are in love, and-I think-so am I.

 

I step out onto this thought, just bare toes on thin ice, and wait to drop into numbing waters and feel nothing again. I am jittery, hopeful, terrified, and elated, all at once. But I am alive, and I feel…something. Something that isn’t hurt and grief and anger and betrayal and devastation. Something I haven’t felt in a long time.

 

I call my best friend to tell her what I’ve discovered, but she already knows. Apparently, I’ve mentioned this man to her once or twice, and my eyes have sparkled and betrayed what even I didn’t know. She tells me I sound like a teenager, and she just loves it. She’d been afraid I would become bitter toward all men, given my marriage, and she gets a kick out of hearing me describe what I like about this man and the way my voice softens and lilts when I say his name.

 

Thinking this news will make my mother feel more secure about my new and independent life, I tell her I think I’m in love, but she doesn’t want to hear it. Why would I be interested in another man and so soon after my divorce? Would this stop my ex and me from getting back together? Maybe it would be better to let my ex remarry before I fall in love with someone new, she says. Disappointed, I tell her nothing else.

 

I should quit while I’m ahead, but I don’t. This new feeling is exciting and I want to talk about it. I tell two work-friends over lunch because they want to know why I keep smiling to myself. They want to hear all the dirt, so I describe this man and his sense of integrity and the way he makes me feel all shiny and new. They note the lightness in my voice, even a giggle, and then rip into me, teasing me until I have tears in my eyes. They take a happy moment and shred it. I don’t finish my dessert, but I feel stupid and childish, and I cross their company off my list. They tell me I’m being too sensitive and shouldn’t be upset with them.

 

None of it changes the way I feel. I’m totally and completely besotted with this man and didn’t know it. I can’t tell him this, not yet. I have to know if there’s a spark there first or if I’m the only one who’s smoldering. I don’t want to make the mistake of confessing to someone who isn’t ready to hear that I have emotions in his regard.

 

So I tamp down the feelings. I swallow them. I choke on them. Along with so many other feelings I’ve had that I wasn’t “allowed” to have during the course of my adolescence and later my marriage. I’m not allowed to feel anger because, I’m told, it’s morally wrong. I should be forgiving instead. I’m not allowed to feel joy because too many people see that as bragging or selfishness. I should feel selflessness instead. I’m not allowed to feel grief or despair because then I’m accused of needing anti-depressants or even, as one friend hinted, a suicide watch. I should feel calm and rational. And I’m not allowed to be in love because it’s too soon, too childish, too…whatever.

 

I choke and sputter and drown in my feelings, and they settle into my fifth chakra, right at my throat. I swallow them but they stick in my throat and won’t go down and won’t come up. I can’t breathe. The doctor says I have an infected trachea. I’ll be out of work for two weeks, and I’ve lost my voice in the meanwhile.

 

With a raspy, barely-there voice, I talk to my counselor but by now I’m distraught. “I had feelings come up for this man,” I tell him.

 

He laughs at me. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

 

“Yeah, well, everyone else seems to think so. And I don’t know what to do about them, so they must not be good. I’m expected to have all the post-divorce anger and grief and everyone wants to know if I’m having those and well, good, now swallow them and get on with your life. But these feelings are different.” I describe my affections and the reasons for them, and he stops me.

“Aw, honey, it’s okay to have feelings. Feelings are good. And these are good feelings. Just enjoy them. You don’t have to express them to this man or to anyone else. Just enjoy them for what they are.” 

These feelings do feel good. I could get lost in enjoying them. I could want to drag them out and make them last a long, long time.

 

“It’s been so long since I’ve felt this way,” I tell my counselor.

 

He laughs again. “I can hear it in your voice. It’s like you’ve become a virginal maiden all over again. You get all giggly and feel like a teenager around him instead of the calm, cool, and collected businesswoman that nothing fazes. It’s very sweet and wonderful. Just enjoy that feeling.”

 

Before I can say anything else, he adds, “Honey, don’t you see? You might very well have written off all men after your marriage, but instead, here is a man who has touched you deeply and rekindled an innocence in you that you thought you’d lost forever. You don’t have to say anything to him or to anyone else. Just breathe through your feelings and explore them.”

 

And now I have tears in my eyes again because my counselor has pinpointed the revelation for me: that I’ve reclaimed an innocence I thought was dead.

 

I’ve found a part of myself that I locked away a long time ago.

 

And I’ve fallen in love when I least expected it.

© 2006, Excerpt from Life in the Third Degree, by Lorna Tedder,

www.spilledcandy.com

This is Book #1 in the Third Degree Diary series, but they can be read in any order

Indigo Children: When I Give Birth to the Messiah

 

Photo by aturkus

***No, no, that’s not me in the photo, but I thought this was a lovely idea***

At these Gatherings of mine, I do have the oddest conversations, especially when discussing the future of the human race. Little did I know I’d spend the evening discussing the Mother Mary Ego Syndrome. I hadn’t realized until yesterday that it even existed, especially among Wiccans. Now I can’t stop laughing.

 

Morgan catches me off-guard by asking if I’m planning to have another child in the next year or two. I start my usual spiel about being 43 and celibate and Wise Men coming from the East. Surely, she’s heard my speech before. God knows, all my other friends sure have when they’ve asked! It’s a joke, but I don’t realize until now how fitting a joke it is.

 

“No,” she says, “I mean, would you consider it? Let’s talk about this in the reverse of how most women see it. If the Gods offered you a child, would you accept it at this point in your life?”

 

I explain that I’m not opposed to it. I have a lot of love to offer and I’ve managed to make great kids in the past. I can afford a child at this point in my life and I’m a pretty good mom. But the timing’s bad. I don’t have a partner and it seems unlikely that one’s going to fall out of the heavens (or off his spaceship) before my biological clock tocks so the question seems moot. I guess I don’t want a little boy badly enough to request a surprise package from the nearest sperm bank or to look for an eligible candidate at Adult Friend Finder…yick.

 

“I’m not sure that’s something I would want to do alone,” I tell her. “I guess I still like the idea of a child being conceived in love.”

 

Hmmm. Interesting. There’s an old-fashioned bone in my body after all. Call me a hopeless romantic.

 

Then I add, “Even if the relationship itself doesn’t last.”

 

Yeah. Call me a realist.

 

“Okay,” Morgan says, “let’s say the Pleiadeans toss a guy with a great set of genes off their spaceship. He’s witty and smart and creative and all the things you’d like in a partner. The two of you fall madly in love and decide not just to create a life together but to build a life together. Things are good. Great, even. Would you have the child?”

 

I shrug. “Do I have to marry him?”

 

She rolls her eyes. “He won’t bring down your credit rating, I promise. But no, you don’t have to do anything. Wed when loved, if at all, and not before.”

“Um, okay. That’s somewhat more enticing.”

 

“What if I told you this child was going to be an Indigo child? One of the next step in the evolution of the human race?”

I’m quite familiar with the concept of Indigo kids. Hyperactive, ultra-creative, uniquely gifted individuals coming into our world now. Some people believe the Hall of Souls has nearly emptied and many children born now are born without souls, which explains the lack of conscience among some kids. These Indigo children have special qualities that will balance the soul-less kids and the generations of them to come. It’s an interesting concept I haven’t heard of since Demi Moore’s Seventh Seal movie eons ago

Again, I shrug. “Based on my own genetics, my hypothetical child would almost certainly have Indigo traits. I have almost all of the traits myself.” At least the website and books say so.

 

“Okay, let’s say that this Indigo child is one of the chosen ones. And yes, some believe that any Indigo is a chosen one. Does that make you want the child more? Does it make you more willing to have this child?”

 

I’m not sure what she’s saying. I already think of my daughters as “chosen ones,” regardless of what they might be called. They feel “chosen” to me, though my older daughter has far more Indigo traits than her little sister.

  

“Let’s put it this way,” Morgan continues. “What if your son is the leader of this next step in the evolution of our race? Would that influence you to have this child? You would be one of the Holy Mothers.”

 

What??? I don’t understand, but my confusion gives way to a sudden flash of every pagan mom I know. All of them proclaiming themselves as Holy Mothers. I hadn’t heard the term before, but it’s absolutely right.

But every pagan woman I know who has a child under 10 or is planning to have another child believes she’s birthing Indigo children. It’s likely that many of them are, but an astonishing number of these moms are convinced they’re birthing the next leader of the the progressed human race. It’s become a hilarious game of ego to show their importance to Spirit as the mothers of the next planetary savior.

 

“So?” Morgan asks. “Does that make you any more likely to accept this child as your son? If he’s the next Messiah?”

 

I think about it for all of two seconds. No. It’s not any more likely that I’d want him any more than if he’s “just” a child born into love. It’s not about ego. It’s about love.

That said, let me add two important comments: 1. If I have another child, could I have one with a soul, please? and 2. If he turns out to be the next Messiah after all, he WILL clean his room and wipe his dirty feet, Messiah or not.

 

© 2006, Excerpt from Third Degree  of Freedom,

by Lorna Tedder, www.spilledcandy.com

This is Book #3 in the Third Degree Diary series, but they can be read in any order.

   

 *****

If you enjoyed this post, try these:

Magick/Ritual
A Small Ritual:  Under a Blood Red Moon
The Spiritual Ad Lib
Threshold Days:  Springing into a Bright Future with the Vernal Equinox

Pagan Community
HOTMaybe this Opportunity Isn’t Meant for You
Me vs The Almighty:  Hold to Your Vision!

Paganism/Wicca/Witchcraft
Are You a White Witch?
Christian Witches:  Caught in the Middle?
Is There a Witch Next Door
Why Pagans/Spiritual People Should Be Concerned about Amazon.com’s Monopoly

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Home Is Where the Spirit Is

Photo by Lorna Tedder

My home is sacred, a symbol of my relationship with Deity. And I don’t really care if anyone else thinks so, but it’s my temple and a reflection of all who live and love and sleep within its walls.

I don’t defend what’s in my house. And I won’t defend it. I never even considered that I’d be expected to until something Aislinn mentioned to me a few days ago. I found it both amusing and enlightening.

She tells me her dad’s mother and her dad had made derogatory comments about how I’ve decorated, even though my ex-mother-in-law has not been in my house in…what?…a year and a half? Two years? Longer? Back when it looked much different. My ex has been inside my front door only once this calendar year that I can remember, and then uninvited and for less than 30 seconds. That’s rather observant for such a narrow visit, not to mention visibility.

But then, maybe they’re psychic.

Let’s pretend they have the gift of sight. Let’s say they can see the crosses on the wall of the dining room or Chinese paintings in the hallway for TRANQUILITY and PROSPERITY or the antique thistle church rail imported from Scotland or the framed Sanskrit Proverb over the statue of an angel or the display of wands on the foyer wall or the framed cross on the wall and the calligraphy that says:

“Ask and it will be given; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened.”

-Matthew 7.7

All right. Yay, Matthew!

But let’s say they can see it all. So what? Why do they care?”

“Look at my walls and tell me what religion I am,” asked my former mother-in-law, according to Aislinn.

“Um, pure white?” she tells me she responded.

The point was, a guest in her home couldn’t tell her religion by what she kept on her walls and in her house.

The comment made me think, then it made me laugh. It was almost as if keeping her home devoid of any obvious spirituality was a good and appropriate thing. I’d never once considered that point of view. Ever.

The sacred spaces I’ve created are not for outsiders, house guests, repairmen, and least of all my ex and his family. They’re for me. My home is a reflection of me from the inside out, not the other way around. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

It made me realize that I love the fact that I’ve decorated my house in eclectic spirituality. I love how my spirituality in all its facets is represented throughout my home and I hope I represent it as well through the way I live.

© 2006, Excerpt from Third Degree Burn, by Lorna Tedder, www.spilledcandy.com

This is Book #2 in the Third Degree Diary series, but they can be read in any order.

 

Dowsing for Men

Photo by mrbill

I highly suspect that my kids aren’t growing up in a normal boring household in suburbia. How can I call anything paranormal when it’s all pretty normal for me? And if my kids have a warped sense of who I am—or what others might consider warped—it probably started when they were little.

 

“Mommy, my friend’s daddy is a foot doctor and he’s very important. Are you important?”

“Sure am,” I used to tell the girls.

“What do you do?” they’d ask.

“Me? Oh, I slay dragons.”

 

The fact that I loved to play with swords lent to my credibility, but who was to say it wasn’t so? Some days certainly felt that way.

Now my conversations are a bit more surreal and yet we understand each other perfectly. For example, this conversation with my teen while off on a walk….

 

Shannon: Can you wear a bra in space?

Me: Yes, but it’s not as important.

 

Shannon: Have you talked to any men you like this week?

Me: Nah. I’m waiting to wake up covered in ladybugs.

Shannon: Or at least one. (a reference to Under a Tuscan Sun)

  

Shannon: Wow, I just got a chill.

Me: Yeah, it was just a breeze off the marsh over there. It wasn’t The Dead.

Shannon: (shrugging) Yeah, I know.

 

Me: When we get back, I need you to do some chores.

Shannon: Okay, but first I have to find last year’s school schedule.

Me: Do you know where it is?

Shannon: No. It’s somewhere in the office.

Me: I know it was in the basket to be filed, but I don’t know if you filed it or not.

Shannon: I filed it but I don’t remember what I filed it under. (after a couple of minutes) Do you think I could find it with your dowsing rods?

Me: Maybe. (after a couple of minutes) Do you think if I walked into a bar with my dowsing rods that I could find a good man with them?

Shannon: Maybe.

Me: Let’s try them on your missing files first. If it works, you know where I’ll be.

 

  

© 2006, Excerpt from Third Degree Burn,

by Lorna Tedder, www.spilledcandy.com

This is Book #2 in the Third Degree Diary series, but they can be read in any order.

 

Why Pagans/Spiritual People Should Be Concerned about Amazon.com’s Monopoly (part 2)

Photo by Mark Strozier

Part 1 (Where we stand)  Part 2  (What Amazon is doing)   Part 3 (Why Amazon is doing this)   Part 4  (The effect on YOU)

(This will be a multi-post article so that I can adequately explain why Amazon.com’s latest manuevers could keep pagan/spiritual readers from finding the reading material they’ve come to love and put small spiritual publishers out of business.)

If you’re not a publisher, editor, or author, there’s a good chance you haven’t heard the story that broke a week ago (thanks to Angela Hoy at writersweekly.com). As a reader or book buyer, you’re probably used to buying those strange little spiritual books– that you can’t find in a store near you–from an online store, and by virtue of their mammoth size, that online store is probably Amazon.  Not only that, but in some small towns, you’re still worried that the villagers will appear with torches and pitchforks if they find out what your true reading taste is so you don’t dare ask the local librarian or bookstore owner to special order something for you, especially because they know your mother or used to date your Aunt Mary.  Buying from Amazon has been a great alternative for you, but Amazon has suddenly become the biggest bully on the block for 4300 publishers, including the publishers of the books you love.  Over 400,000 books are at risk.

What is Amazon doing that is (I believe) unethical and possibly illegal?  To start with, they are telling publishers that the publishers must print their books through Amazon’s own print-on-demand company, Booksurge. That’s right–ditch your current printer and current inventory and come with us at a higher cost…or come with us at a higher cost and keep your regular printer for sales to other bookstores via Ingram (the major wholesaler).  Then they tell the publishers (held off the ground by their ankles and shaken so that their measly lunch money falls out their pockets) that if they refuse, the “buy buttons” on their books will be “turned off” at Amazon. The profit margin for publishers is very, very thin these days and Amazon is looking to claim what is left.  This means Amazon will make their profits not only on sales (they already get as high as 55% of the cover price from some publishers) but also through printing fees, set-up costs, and higher discounts that will allow them to out-compete the average bookstore.

Amazingly, several large publishers have already caved in.  They feel they have no choice.  And to stay in business, someone will have to make up their profit margin, and that someone will be authors and readers.

Amazon’s printer, Booksurge, is a print-on-demand (POD) company that also prints self-published books for authors (set up fees of $1000 and more) for sale on Amazon.  So Amazon also competes with publishers for authors.  The dominant POD printer is Lightning Source, which we at Spilled Candy have used as our printer since 2000, when we stopped using the environmentally wasteful off-set print-runs of the past and started printing small quantities for our inventory and resupplying when the quantities ran low.  The quality of POD books (through Lightning Source, that is, NOT through Booksurge) has improved beautifully over the years, the covers are gorgeous now, the print quality looks good, and we’re very happy with them.  In fact, many major publishing houses are using Lightning Source to print their backlists and the customer can no longer tell the difference in a book printed one at a time and a book printed 25,000 at a time. 

Although Amazon has declared war on its printer’s chief rival, Lightning Source, and had been approaching Lightning Source customers over the past week or two with these threats of being eliminated from Amazon, the threat isn’t just to POD printers and the publishers and authors who use them.  At least one University press that publishes through traditional print-runs rather than POD, has been approached to do all their printing through Booksurge.  One might think that Amazon wants to print every book that’s published!

Even more insane (to us), Amazon has also told some publishers that they can’t offer discounts on their publisher websites if they sell on Amazon, and if they do, then Amazon will conclude that the discounted price is the recommended retail price (instead of what’s on the cover) and will pay accordingly.  We at Spilled Candy have not been approached yet on this, but here’s how it would play out:

We publish a series of books, Lauren Hartford’s The Priestess Diaries,  that focus on various spiritual lessons within the framework of fiction.  Readers purchase them out of order or just the book they’re interested in, so some book buyers never read anything but our Law of Attraction book, Fire Burning in Water.  The trade paperback cover price, mainly because of the heavy non-fiction content, is (I’ll round off) $20.  We’re fortunate enough to be able to offer our website customers a special price because of a local spiritual group that subsidizes the price of our books on occasion.  We’ve worked out a deal with them so that they pay the difference between the special price at our website and the cover price.  Great, huh? 

If Amazon visited our online bookstore and saw that Fire Burning in Water  is selling for $10 instead of $20–it’s our benefactor’s factorite–Amazon would declare the retail price to be $10.  Since our cut to them is, say, normally 50% of the cover price. Amazon would unilaterally decide that regardless of our contract, the new price is $10 and for every book they sell, they’ll send me $5…which wouldn’t cover printing and shipping.  So to keep from going broke on Amazon, we’d have to eliminate any special offers to our regular websites visitors who don’t generally buy our books elsewhere, in effect running them off because we’ve built out business on special offers.

Imagine the same effect on a larger scale–publisher catalogs and websites not offering sales or specials or pre-sale prices for fear of Amazon re-interpreting the selling price.  If the price for the book is the same everywhere and Amazon has the best discount, over both publisher and other bookstores–where will book buyers go to buy the book…assuming the publisher can afford to continue to sell it?

So why is Amazon doing this?  What do they hope to achieve? 

Next post….

Why Pagans/Spiritual People Should Be Concerned about Amazon.com’s Monopoly (part 1)

Photo by Mark Strozier

Part 1 (Where we stand)  Part 2  (What Amazon is doing)   Part 3 (Why Amazon is doing this and the effect on YOU)   Part 4  (The future of books) 

(This will be a multi-post article so that I can adequately explain why Amazon.com’s latest manuevers could keep pagan/spiritual readers from finding the reading material they’ve come to love and put small spiritual publishers out of business.)

First, let me be perfectly clear because I don’t want our readers, authors, or friends to have any doubt where Spilled Candy Books stands on Amazon.com’s strong-arm tactics.  We will NOT be bullied into

1.  using an inferior printer (BookSurge) to print our books;

2.  raising book prices to accommodate mandatory set-up fees, increased printing costs, deeper discounts to Amazon.com, and the cost of maintaining multiple printers; and

3.  discontinuing special offers, discounts, and grant subsidies to our readers who buy direct from our website. 

We have always lived by our convictions and if not submitting to the monopoly that Amazon.com is trying to create–not just over bookstores and publishers but over the entire publishing industry–means we never sell another book on Amazon.com, then so be it.  We sell primarily through our websites as it is, and we will find other alternatives to Amazon.com.

We see this issue as bigger than just Spilled Candy Books, our fellow small presses that have dedicated themselves to providing niched spiritual books, and all of our authors combined.  We think it’s absolutely necessary to take a stand against a monopoly so that all readers of spiritual books, especially those out of the mainstream, can count on the availability of current and new reading material of their choice.

Next posts… What the fracas is about, its effect on you, and the future of books.

 

Racism, Sexism, and Religious Prejudices: Seek and Ye Shall Find

Photo by SteveTookIt  ***I liked this photo, especially in its largest format, because the snowflakes were so unique and amazing. Or did you see the thorns first?***

Looking for racists, chauvinist pigs, and people who hate you for the God you worship? Then I promise you, you’ll find them all…and more than you ever imagined. You will draw the prejudices to you, attract them, like ants to your picnic. You will create them out of thin air. 

One thing I’ve heard repeatedly among Law of Attraction gurus and followers is that if you focus on something, that’s what you’ll get, though they’re not usually talking about focusing on prejudice against you. The older form of this lesson was drilled into me in Baptist Sunday School as a child: seek and ye shall find.

That’s exactly why I’ve made some changes in how I see myself as a practicing Wiccan who has, many times, been the target of religious prejudice–and I’ve changed my experience for the better.  Here’s why:

Varying viewpoints:

I saw a movie over the weekend. I enjoyed it very much, even though it wasn’t about single moms of Scottish and Native American descent who dance around bonfires eight times a year (that would be me). I didn’t have much in common at all with any of the characters and the story was mere escapist fantasy, but still, I really enjoyed the movie.

To my surprise, some of my colleagues told me they found it incredibly racist. Huh? Did we see the same movie? An African-American coworker thought the African-American character should have been 100% heroic instead of showing a human side at the end that made him, in my opinion, such a richly complex character and far more interesting than the white-boy hero. The Asian colleague claimed the Asian characters were all stereotypes and that the protagonist was white and therefore it was racist. Meanwhile, a feminist friend thought the female characters should have been more aggressive so the movie was sexist. And on it went. 

I couldn’t understand my colleagues’ narrow viewpoints, but then, none of them understand why I used to get upset with stupid movies about homicidal witches they all thought were loads of fun.  We have all been very defensive where we felt represented in a demeaning manner, especially when we expected to find it.

Seeking what you fear:

Each brought something about himself or herself to the movie, and they expected to find those things presented less than favorably. Then again, we all do that to ourselves in the movies of our own lives.

For instance, I had a date a few nights ago with someone I wasn’t extremely excited about but he was interesting enough to give it a shot. I knew within the first three minutes that we really didn’t have any chemistry but there was a friendship possibility. Within 15 minutes, the date fizzled. We both silently and politely rejected each other, but damn it, it did actually bother me the next day. Like most people, I want to know why I was rejected even if, well, even if they’re idiots for rejecting me. I went through that long mental list we all go through when someone rejects us or some part of us. I figured it probably wasn’t because I’m white or because I’m a girl, but after that?

Was I dressed too feminine in that short blue dress with the cute heels? Did he think I was too old for him? Did he think I was fat? Did he not like my….oh, you get the picture. I stopped myself rather than invest time on someone who didn’t interest me, but my mind immediately jumped to whether his quiet prejudices might be about my body or the way I express myself with my looks. As it turns out, I didn’t take the hint about my being “too well-read” and he didn’t understand half of what I’d said, even though he’d brought up his interest in mythology and ancient history. I suppose that shows what he brought to the dating table: he hadn’t graduated from college and he expected to be denigrated by someone with more education. He’s the second guy I’ve been out with in a year who’s talked way too much about how people with degrees think they’re so much better than he is, even before asking my background.

Since then, I heard about a motorcycle accident that claimed the life of the rider.  The motorcycle riders in the room with me immediately guessed that the pickup truck driver intentionally ran the bike over out of hatred while the non-bikers assumed the motorcyclist was some young thug without a helmet and a penchant for racing.  I was dumbfounded by how everyone looked for facts to support their own prejudices or fears of prejudice.  Within a few minutes, more news came, and they were all wrong, all of them.  By then, they were all too far down the road of their own viewpoints to even notice what eyewitnesses all agreed on.   They had brought their own experiences with bikers to the room and nothing factual was going to change that.

Seeing what you expect:

It would be amusing if it weren’t so sad to watch people misinterpret events and motivations based on the prejudices they expect to see. I’ll give three examples that have stuck with me, and each time, the “prejudice” others saw surprised me.

–While talking to a female coworker and her mother, the coworker mentioned she’d been passed over for a promotion. Her mother, who’d been a “women’s libber” in the 1970’s before “feminist” became the more upscale terminology, immediately assumed the daughter hadn’t been promoted because she was female. The daughter tried to explain that to get the promotion, she needed a Master’s Degree. Her mom insisted, “If you were a man, it wouldn’t matter.” Never mind that the person who got the promotion was a woman with a Master’s Degree and the hiring official had been a woman as well, my coworker’s mother could see only through the lens of sexism and expected the worst. Every time I see the older woman, she tells me of something negative that happened that day because of sexism when I can think of a dozen other reasons that are far more likely.

–Two coworkers of mine were standing in the middle of the hall outside the women’s restroom when I walked into the middle of their fight. Their voices were tense already and steadily escalated until these two normally rationale people had to be separated by bystanders. I knew both quite well, but they didn’t know each other well at all. He was a white man in his mid-fifties, obnoxiously finicky and perpetually overstressed, and worked for Contract Management. She was an African-American woman in her early forties, sweet and friendly demeanor, and worked for Financial Management.

Their yell-fest started when she asked him if he was having a good day. He wasn’t. People from her office were having their carpet cleaned and they had to store some furniture in his work area overnight, with his permission. Not a problem except that the carpet cleaner had postponed the job for a day and he couldn’t get to his work area when he had piles of files that wouldn’t wait. She was a manager in her office, just walking into the building, but had no idea what had happened. So in answer to her innocent, “Hey, there, are you having a glorious day today?” he responded with, “No, I am NOT having a glorious day. I am sick and tired of YOUR PEOPLE trying take over this place!” To which her eyes widened like saucers and she started threatening loudly to go to the Equal Opportunity Office and how she wasn’t going to put up with his racist crap. If you’ve ever seen the fur stand up on a cat when it arches its back in anger, that’s exactly the vibe I saw. He, on the other hand, reminded me of my puppy when I sing—he turned his head sideways, not understanding anything coming out of her mouth.

YOUR PEOPLE was a typical phrase when supervisors in Contract Management were talking about the employees of another supervisor in Contract Management, and those of us who worked with him every day heard him use it all the time in reference to the personnel in different offices. That fight broke me of that habit of telling any supervisor, “Your people did a fantastic job!” or even joking about how “I’ll have my people call your people to set up an appointment.”

–I went shopping with a pagan friend not long ago. We both wore Goddess jewelry, but everywhere we went, something negative happened that she blamed on religious prejudice. Even though I was right next to her and had no problems with the sales assistants, she constantly had issues.

“She shorted me $2.00 when she gave me change. She had it in for me because I’m pagan.” Or… “He put mustard on my burger. He messed up my order. He’s just giving me a hard time because of the pentacle I’m wearing.”

Most of our personal conversations revolved around all the times she’d been discriminated against that day because of her religion. It was all she focused on. It was to the point where she seemed to beg it to come her, as sure as if she’d had a tattoo on her forehead that said PLEASE HATE ME CUZ I’M DIFFERENT. I could park next to her car, with the pentagrams on my bumper sticker more prominent than on hers, and yet every time, she’d get the nastygram on her car, often from people who really did want to burn her at the stake. The last time, she got a threatening note that should have gone to the police and at the same time I had two Mormon missionaries approach me to ask why I believed what I did and to help them understand.

That made me wonder why we had such different experiences.

Choosing not to be a victim whenever possible:

Am I saying that racism, sexism, and other forms of prejudice don’t exist? Not at all. Heavens! I grew up in South Georgia , where people I knew were against pretty much everything. I’ve been discriminated against, yes. For all sorts of reasons, and some openly and some not. That’s the life we’ve created here. I’ve seen blatant examples of racism, sexism, and other forms of prejudice all over the country in my travels. I’ve seen people in physical danger because of their color, sex, and belief system. And I’ve seen the politically correct movement create monsters out of thin air.

But if we’re looking for examples of prejudice—especially examples of prejudice against some aspect of ourselves—then we’ll find them. Everything in our lives will be seen in that context. If we focus on division by race, sex, religion, etc, then the problem seems to magnify rather than fading away or being transformed into something new. We’re focusing on how we’re different, not how we’re alike.

Yes, I’m an idealist.  I like me that way.

I choose not to live my life as a victim of others’ prejudice, for as much as it is possible. This is a choice I’ve made for myself regarding my religion. Yes, there are still people who don’t understand my religious beliefs and disrespect me for them. But it’s simply not true of everyone. I’ve made a conscious effort NOT to expect prejudice and instead to give off that vibe that I’m open, honest, and happy to educate you on how my religion contributes to who I am. Does it work all the time? No. There will always be people who truly are prejudiced and there’s nothing you can say to change their minds and no matter how many laws you might pass, they’ll still discreetly hate you. But for all the people who aren’t prejudiced but simply don’t know or understand, it’s a wonderful opportunity to enlighten them, so that they know someone of my religion who’s a pretty good person, so it can’t be all bad, can it?

I want people who know me to question prejudices against people like me…BECAUSE they know me.

I want to seek and find a better place of understanding, of being open-minded and accepting of others as they are–and they of me, as I am. And for me, that begins with expecting others not to be as close-minded today as they were yesterday.

 

 *****

If you liked this post, try these:

Law of Attraction/Manifesting
HOT Attracting a Relationship with a Specific Person
Birthday Gifts of the Intangible Sort
HOT Can You Attract Old Lovers Back into your Life?
Morning Strategy Sessions with the Universe
Observations on Enjoyment and Manifestation
Racism, Sexism, and Other Prejudices:  Seek and Ye Shall Find
HOT The Dharma of Money:  How to Attract Debt instead of Prosperity
Time-Lining Intentions

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is This Kristin’s New Cover?

The current champ in our cover contest for Kristin Madden’s Mabon (Pagan Thanksgiving) book.   This mock-up won 76.3% of the weekly vote.

View the challenger of the week and vote for your favorite.

 

Click Here to vote! 

Don’t Pity Me

Photo by SillyRabbit!

I’m not looking to be pitied, mainly because there’s no reason to pity me.

There’s an old voice in my head, one from my teen years, that says I must certainly be rather pathetic tonight.  It’s not just in my head, though, because too many friends and acquaintances confess to the same problem.

Yes, it’s late on a Friday evening, and I’m home alone.  I’m a smart, successful, independent, single woman, and I’m home alone on a Friday night–and just as often on Saturday nights.  But that’s no reason to pity me. 

I’ve had a full and wonderful day, and already ditched plans tonight for a movie or any sort of social outing in favor of just hanging out around the house and relaxing.  Lovingly doing NOTHING.  Instead of going out on a wild date, clubbing with unmarried or married-but-cheating girlfriends, or sitting at a meat-market somewhere, I’ve taken care of a few chores, enjoyed a luxuriously long nap, caught up with a few friends online, finished a chapter of a new book, worked out, played with my websites, enjoyed the dripping fog outdoors, walked among my flowers,  and played with the dog when he wasn’t lying on the sweet spot–the rug in front of the altar.  Yes, that’s my definition of “doing nothing”!  It’s been peaceful and quiet and quite pleasant.  

There’s still that voice in the back of my mind that says that if I’m not out having a wild time on a weekend night, then I must be worthy of pity.  You know, that I must be lonely or miserable.  I’m not.  I made a choice to be where I am tonight, working on the projects I enjoy.

The whole idea of having Friday and Saturday nights booked is ridiculous. It’s funny that these tend to be my free nights.  Most of my socializing with friends happens on Sunday nights or during the week.  Just works out that way.   Most of my dates happen during the week, simply because there are family obligations or trips or work schedules to deal with.  Sometimes I’m out of town over the weekends or at a pagan festival.   It just happens that I’m generally not doing much of anything–at least to the outside world–on Friday and Saturday nights at home.  They are, for the most part, open, which I love because that means I’m free for anything or anyone new who shows up on my doorstep.

The funny thing is how often a man will call and be surprised I’m home on a Friday or Saturday evening.  In fact, many people either seem surprised or a little judgmental because they subscribe to that old way of thinking, that we must defer our fun and socializing to the weekends.   After all, so many fault-finders are married and sitting home on the same nights as I am, often in a separate room from their spouse and kids!  But here’s the interesting thing:

Most of the men who contact me do so on Friday or Saturday nights when they’re home alone (and obvious don’t want to be), most of the emails I receive from single and coupled friends come on Friday or Saturday nights, and the traffic on my websites rises substantially on Friday and Saturday nights.  

You know what that means?  

I’m not the only one “sitting at home.”

 

Bible Belt Publisher Donates to Pagan Prison Ministry

***Lorna Tedder and her crew at Spilled Candy Enterprises load donations for a pagan prison ministry. Below, Tedder and Rev. Edward Livingston whose Fire Dance Church of Wicca runs the prison ministry.***

NICEVILLE, Florida (April 03, 2008) – Spilled Candy Books, a small publisher for the “spiritually eclectic,” has donated over $8000 in books to the Fire Dance Church of Wicca’s Pagan Prison Ministry.

“I wasn’t even aware of the need for a pagan prison ministry,” said Lorna Tedder of Spilled Candy, “until author Gail Wood asked us to publish THE WILD GOD.  She’d written this wonderful guide, sharing chapter by chapter with pagan inmates to teach them about the Sacred Masculine and the many aspects of God.  Christian ministries are common, especially here in the Bible Belt, but there’s little material available for the spiritual non-Christian in prison. Gail was fulfilling that need in her own way, and I’m following her example.”

Tedder insisted something good must come from a personal and business “rough spot” last fall.  When Spilled Candy put some of its books out of print in August 2007, a common event in the publishing world, rumors spread on MySpace and throughout the pagan community that the tiny publisher must be going bankrupt.  According to Tedder, bookstores and New Age shops returned stock for credit, coming close—but not quite—to ensuring the prophecy of financial failure.

Rev. Edward Livingston is High Priest of the Fire Dance Church of Wicca, which serves the Pensacola, Florida, area.  The prison ministry is one of the church’s special projects. 

Spilled Candy Enterprises, LLC, is a small, family-run business that continues to publish books about Wicca, shamanism, New Age Christianity, Spiritualism, Spirituality, and the Law of Attraction.  Their website, http://www.spilledcandy.com, features free online reads, articles, and a blog for “the spiritual electic.”

To send charitable contributions to the Pagan Prison Ministry or for more information, contact Rev. Edward Livingston at http://www.fdcow.com.  The church is a Florida 501(c)(3) not-for-profit corporation.