Can You Attract Old Lovers Back into Your Life?

[LADY IN WAITING, inside a 1000-year-old temple, c 2008 by Lorna Tedder]
Can you attract important people from your past–particularly old friends and lovers–BACK into your life? Of the Law of Attraction followers I’ve met and worked with, fully a third are looking for easy money and a second third just want that special person back. I see people turn to love spells and pray like crazy because they want what they lost, whether the relationship was good for them at the time or not.

But the short answer to the question is YES, you CAN attract important people back into your life. The long answer is that the relationship will not be the same as the one you had before–it can be better, it can be worse, it can be neither better nor worse but different, but it will never be the same.

I talked to a woman who’d had great success with the Law of Attraction and bringing old boyfriends back into her life. She did it both intentionally and unintentionally, by simply being herself, and they fell in love with her all over again. Her problem wasn’t with attracting but with keeping the relationships going. She had a habit of changing herself to suit what she thought these men needed and they’d lose interest every time. Yet, each relationship was a variation of the former and there was always “glue” between her and these men as long as she stayed true to herself.

A Law of Attraction guru who supports the idea of being able to attract friends and lovers back in an ethical manner (the being yourself part) gives the analogy of salt. He says that two people who share a soul connection will, when in proximity, reconnect. They may be separate sodium and chlorine when miles apart, but put them in the same proximity and they’ll form salt whether they intend to or not. There will be a certain quality when they combine that is more than they are separately. Ethics has nothing to do with it–it’s the nature of what they are whenever they combine as long as they are true to themselves when separate and don’t dilute themselves. Again, the emphasis is on being yourself and then it just happens naturally when proximity occurs.

I’ve found this true of several long-distance friends of mine. I may go years without seeing them, but the moment we’re in the same room together, it’s as if no time at all has passed. My friendship with Jillian is like this. The same with Maggie Shayne. There’s an energy and magnetism that is strong across the miles but put us together and we’ll talk for days. Those are people I always enjoy when they’re attracted back into my life, but each time the relationship is a little different, often stronger because of what we’ve had to bear alone and with others.

I’ve lost friends in the past–important to me–whom I did not want to lose. They’ve come back into my life, as I’d so badly wanted, but the relationship the second and even third times were not good. It’s not that they were worse, either, but that I had changed so much that the same relationship as before could not survive, and the only way to have a new relationship at all was through being very emotionally distant toward each other. So yes, the relationship was renewed but with my guard up. Most of those, I let slip away because the other person wanted to force-fit our relationship into what it had been in the past and weren’t interested in a different kind of relationship with the same person.

It’s like when lovers try to become friends. One or both often want the old “lover” relationship, which may now be complete, and the new relationship of “just friends” won’t work because one or both don’t realize that it’s a new relationship. The same is true of marriages that have passed. That relationship is done. The new one is of two people sharing parenting responsibilities. It’s not the same relationship. For couples who reunite, it’s going to be yet another relationship–perhaps better or perhaps a repeat of before–but it will never be the same relationship.

One thing about being in my 40’s is that I now have a perspective I could not have had 10 or 20 years ago. The majority of people who have been important to me in the past have come back into my life. In some cases it was many years. In some cases only a few months. Some might say I attracted them back.

Sometimes it was for an new expanded relationship that’s stronger than before. The old relationship is complete, with all its joys and pains, but the new one is thriving.

Sometimes it was for closure. Old friends I missed so much returned to my life and we started anew, only to see that all they wanted was to take and that they had nothing to give, and that that’s really the way it had always been but I could see them clearly now.

The same has been true of different men in my life. My high school boyfriend–the one who broke up with me AT my prom and then proceeded to tell all his friends (who then told me) that my only interest in him was his big dick (not that he WAS a big dick)–came back into my life after college. We ended up taking graduate classes at the same college and shared a car pool. We had a new friendship, and though he at times let me know we could go back to being more than friends, I was no longer interested. We graduated from our old relationship that night at prom when he humiliated me in public and then later, on the way home, offered me his ring back and I refused. (Good for me.) Our new relationship was friendly but definitely platonic.

I was with the man I married for years before I finally went back to Georgia and gave up on the relationship. With me gone, he realized how much he missed me and the relationship was born anew into one where he was ready to make a commitment. That relationship has now been completed and can never be relived.

I’ve also had old romantic interests return as wonderful friends. Same person, different relationship. And one of my female friends is over the moon right now about her new guy–whom she dated for a while, broke up because of flaws in that relationship, and attracted back to her. After being separate for a while and returning to being themselves instead of lost in their expectations of each other, they have a new relationship that’s very joyful for both.

So yes, you can attract back people from your past. For me, it happens all the time, but it’s never the SAME relationship with someone from the past. Sometimes it’s much better. Sometimes it’s worse. Sometimes it’s just…different. But it is never the same.

c Lorna Tedder

FOR MORE INFORMATION TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AND UNIVERSAL LAW, WE RECOMMEND